kiss/idle

it's all that's left
when you've given
your everything
to a fantasy

i gave it all away
to pictures in
a magazine,
videos on a
computer screen

i'm drained and
i'm on my way
out and all i wanted
was someone to
kiss goodnight.

* * *

i raised you up
and gave you praise.
you filled me for a
moment, nothing
gained.

i've learned that i can't
fill the void with you,
but you know that i'll
try again and again.

i felt for a moment,
but now i'm ice.
my wound feels numb,
but i'll scratch it until
it bleeds or until i can
feel it again. but you
don't care because you
don't feel at all.

i made you my idol,
but now i'm idle.