paper

people throw it away, some recycle, some keep papers to remember or document or perhaps for sentimental value, but at the end of the day it's still paper. thinly, cheaply produced paper only as good as the writing that's on it. some words are holier than others. some words are meant to entertain or to inform, but they are only temporary. there are timeless classics, however. books. the Holy Bible. original manuscripts, maybe. first editions. of course now everything is digital. digitally archived, saved, published, retweeted, blogged, posted. some will defend paperbacks and hardbacks against kindles. but the only thing that matters are the words on the page and as i was looking through the pages and pages of random Christmas and birthday cards, elementary school achievement certificates, college essays, and interesting newspaper bits i thought were interesting, i found that i couldn't bring myself to throw away certain bits of paper.

the ticket stubs to The Dark Knight in Imax, which i saw twice.

a piece of construction paper with random bits of encouragement written by my classmates during my freshmen year of college, whom i really didn't know at the time.

cards that my grandfather had hand drawn on pictures of birds and other creatures.

at the same time, i found it really easy to throw away other papers that had no meaning to me now.

bank statements, random notes of encouragement from people that i served with at a retreat, none of whom i really talk to now. certificates of achievements from elementary school, what achievements? i don't know.

there's so much paper in this world, let alone my room, and i wonder what the point of it all is.

my friend wes was cleaning out his old room, which he just moved back into, and all of these bits and pieces of paper, photos, memories were being resurrected for a moment before being tossed to never be thought about or looked at again.

i'll look back again someday and look at all these papers that i have accumulated over the years and wonder why i've kept them. why i've held onto these things that don't have the same meaning as it once did. maybe i'll look back on these blog posts and wonder if they've all been a waste of digital space. it makes me want to matter. not me, but my words. not the words itself, but what they're about, who they point to. will i point to Jesus and the Kingdom or myself and how great i am, i was, i used to be. what will the value of these words be?

will these words be remembered? will they encourage? will they help at all? or will it all be tossed into a fire, ink fading, creases crumbling, paper to ashes.