you miss running. you miss feeling the ground under your feet as you sprint across a field exhibiting your youth and promise. you feel like a Greek god, an Olympic runner pacing to receive the prize. you miss feeling invincible in the gym. potential to be unleashed with hard work and dedication. you miss the hope of sculpting a body of granite out of what is now a body of dough.

you cling to your pride in hopes of having it all back again, of regaining your former glory.

but you may not. you may have to deal with this pain the rest of your life. all your hopes are in the resurrection, but you're not sure that you will be resurrected into eternal life or eternal damnation.

now as the days go by, you contemplate the future. success or failure awaits. the only contentment you have is in your fantasies of fame or glory or love.

all you have are doubts. i wish you would be sure of something.