no one prepares you for this. when lives are taken there's no manual that says "in case of shooting, step 1..." some people curse to express the shock, to just relieve their emotions. some people cry, some people pray, some people feel numb. i prayed. i feel numb. i tried to feel. all i could think of was myself. what about the dead? what about the families? i am indifferent. i am selfish. i don't feel anything. i did something when i should've done nothing. i did something to feel. if only i didn't i would something.

woke up at 7 got dressed for a test
walked past my other class
it was back to my bed

woke up at 10 and heard the ring
picked it up and all i hear
a madman on a killing spree

i was indifferent
didn't feel bad about it
but now i'm sorry
sorry for what i did (nothing)

went back to bed at 30 after
tried to go to sleep
but all i could think of was me

got up couldn't take it
relieved myself of this
took a shower to wash away the sin

i was indifferent
didn't feel bad about it
but now i'm sorry
sorry for what i did (nothing)

here i am, part of the crowd
wondering how it all happened
and how it's going to go down

does sin lead to sin
i did something when i should've done nothing
and now i wait for it to be over, to be forgiven

it's all the same

hey i have a question
is murder worse than cheating on your wife
or is it worse to take your own life

will i go to hell for killing myself and being subtle
or will i live by saving you the trouble

it's all the same to me
from stealing to blasphemy
you know it's true
you just deny the truth

is it worse to have sex
or to have 2 men wed
is it wrong for me to judge
when i am better then some

i haven't killed but if thoughts count
than send me to jail and don't let me out
i haven't touched only looked but if thinking's the same
then call me a criminal and take me away for rape

i know i'm no good but i've only done a few bad things
but if one bad thing corrupts the whole
God have mercy on my eternal soul