no one prepares you for this. when lives are taken there's no manual that says "in case of shooting, step 1..." some people curse to express the shock, to just relieve their emotions. some people cry, some people pray, some people feel numb. i prayed. i feel numb. i tried to feel. all i could think of was myself. what about the dead? what about the families? i am indifferent. i am selfish. i don't feel anything. i did something when i should've done nothing. i did something to feel. if only i didn't i would something.