want

you know for the longest time
i had trouble thinking about you.
i still do sometimes and i think
it's getting worse and then better,
but now it's different.

i don't know what these other boys,
if there are any, think about you
or if there is a divine plan that
doesn't involve me and you.
but i've finally found the difference.

i've always fantasized about you
and me, but now i'm content to
stop. not as if i've had enough of
you, but because of the reason
to think of you as you are.

maybe one day a man will say
"i know you, i love you, marry
me." and maybe he does know
you and love you and that
satisfies him to be secure enough
to marry you.

but for me i'm not satisfied and
i won't be, not even if we were
married because i want to know
you. i will never know everything
about you, but i will keep wanting to.
when we are 20 years deep i want
to be surprised when you say,
"i really like orange."

i'm not sure if i love you, but
i want to and that has made all
the difference to me. and i hope
that it will be enough for you too.
you are my want, you will always
be my want, and that is my
commitment to you.