i don't get it

i don't understand grace
i don't understand love
why would God care enough
to be put up on a cross?

i do what i want
i do what i hate
i want to do right
i have a choice everyday

i always choose now
i don't care about the future
i'm not scared to die
i'm scared of what come after

am i a walking disease
is there a cure for me
is it ever too late
i won't know until i'm dead

is it possible to be perfect
is it possible to be truly good
well i haven't met anyone perfect or good
i've only seen pride and lust

will faith do me good
will hope do me justice
have i ever tried?
will i ever try?

out of faith, love, and hope
love is the greatest
i'm so desensitized
i can't feel it

love to obey
obey to love
where do i begin
i have none of the above

for now i can't feel
i can't see
i feel bad
because nothing bad happens to me

i do bad, but good happens to me
is this love?
guilt overwhelms me, but i still do bad
i feel the same after confession

i don't understand faith
if i just believe
will everything be ok
or will my sins haunt me

i have a choice everyday
i can choose faith
or choose the same fate
it's not a hard choice

i choose the same fate
i feel guilty again
i choose faith
i live

i have a choice everyday
the decision isn't hard to make
i want to live
but today i feel guilty again.