higher

i remember this dark, green radiator hidden behind a giant oak tree in front of the apartments i used to live in when i was a kid. it was probably only 7 or 8 feet tall, but when you're a 3 or 4 foot kid it's a climb. i used whatever nook i could find on this radiator to get my hands on the edge of the top and pull myself up with the little upper body strength i had. before climbing i would imagine what lay up there, so high above me. i wondered if there would be a chair waiting for me or a secret treasure that only i could find, something to reward my efforts because on the ground i was just a dreamer. but if i went higher i would be what happens when dreams come true. i would be happily ever after, i would be a king, i would be content. i climbed up this radiator to get away from wishful gazing, to be off the ground, to be closer to the dream, to be higher. i remember reaching the top and taking a look around. the top was decorated in fall leaves and dirt from other kids' shoes who had climbed before me. i crawled away from the edge to be closer to the heart of the radiator and i sat down. i wasn't disappointed, in fact, i was quite joyful. there was no treasure or chair waiting for me. there was no pat on the back or praise from the radiator or the trees surrounding me. just me breathing in the cool air as i stared into the branches, leaves, nature around and above me. i had done what i set out to do. i had climbed higher and was where i wanted to be. and that was enough. i was content.